It sounds clichéd I know, but it feels like you’ve helped to loosen the chains and wake up a monster inside me that is now pissed off and wants to come out. It breathes fire within me so that I burn and scar on the outside and cry out with pain. A new pain, unlike one I’ve felt before. Not worse, just different. But it is pushing me over the edge slowly. I don’t know if I can hold it in much longer. What have you done? What have I let you do to me? I should have just listened to myself. There was no relief; no burden lifted, no mighty revelation – nothing. Now all I want is to cut again and let this pain trickle down my arm in swift streams, but this too is against your rules. When will I be free from you and your pushing and your rules? I feel like I’m about to explode unless I let some pain out first, to maintain the balance. I have come this far, but I’ve had enough now. Can I go back to the shadows where my head hangs low and I have to remind myself to breathe?